I hold my dead baby's hand at night

Sian Jones and her sister Carys were over the moon when they found they were pregnant at the same time.
As the weeks turned into months they started planning. Both would go to the same school, they would celebrate their 18th together, be more like brother and sister than cousins - their whole family was caught up in the excitement.
When Carys gave birth to baby Megan, Sian was the first to congratulate her- now she had just four weeks to go.
But the day before her baby was due, doctors couldn't find a heartbeat.
She gave birth to baby Dylan. He was stillborn but perfect in every way and the family said their goodbyes to the precious boy.
Sian was inconsolable. Gavin tried to hide away all the baby things but Sian wanted his room untouched.
Sister Carys wanted to know whether Sian could cope with seeing Megan. She wanted to see her niece and the little baby helped keep her going every day.
That Christmas was horrendous and when Carys went back to work she told her sister she wouldn’t hold her to her promise. But Sian needed to. So she cared for baby Megan while Carys went to work. She was a constant reminder of little Dylan, but Megan gave her a reason to get up every day.
Meantime Gavin wanted his own tribute, he went out and got a tattoo right across his back of baby Dylan’s hand and footprints so Sian could touch her baby whenever she needed to.
Five months later Sian found out she was pregnant again. But this time there were no celebrations, no excitement. She concentrated on caring for Megan and didn’t dare hope that this time would bring her baby home.
Baby Isabelle was born last October. She’s perfect and she’s brought joy back into her mum’s life. Little Megan dotes on her cousin too.
The sisters now have two daughters who will grow up like sisters too, but they’ll never forget Dylan.
Sian, who’s 27, said: “Every day Megan was a reminder of my poor Dylan, but every day she gave me a reason to keep living. Now I’ve got my own miracle too and the two girls will grow up together. But whatever happens, every night I stroke Dylan’s hand and tell him how much he’ll always be loved.”